openthebox/content/adventures/contemporary/intro.lor

// Contemporary Adventure - Open The Box
// Theme: Corporate office meets mysterious box absurdity

character sandrea
  name: Sandrea
  role: Office Worker

character samuel
  name: Samuel
  role: IT Guy

state
  emails: 0
  boxPower: 0
  hrInvolved: false
  unionFormed: false

beat Intro
  Monday morning. Fluorescent lights. The faint smell of burned coffee and crushed dreams. #intro-monday
  You arrive at Boxington & Associates Ltd. (Motto: "Thinking Outside The Box Since Never"). #intro-arrive
  sandrea: Hey, have you seen the break room? Something... appeared over the weekend. #sandrea-seen
  sandrea: And by "something," I mean a box. And by "appeared," I mean nobody will claim responsibility. #sandrea-appeared

  choice
    Go check the break room #opt-check
      -> BreakRoom
    Check your email first #opt-email
      emails += 1
      -> CheckEmail
    Pretend you didn't hear anything #opt-pretend
      -> Pretend

beat CheckEmail
  You open your inbox. 47 unread emails. 46 of them are about the box. #email-open
  Subject lines include: "RE: RE: RE: FW: THE BOX", "Box Situation Update #17", and "Please stop replying all about the box." #email-subjects
  The last email is from HR: "Mandatory Box Awareness Training - Tuesday 2pm. Attendance is not optional." #email-hr
  emails += 46
  hrInvolved = true
  sandrea: HR sent a training about the box. It hasn't even been 24 hours. #sandrea-hr
  sandrea: That's a new record. Usually it takes them two weeks to acknowledge anything exists. #sandrea-record
  -> BreakRoom

beat Pretend
  You put on your headphones and stare at a spreadsheet. #pretend-headphones
  The spreadsheet stares back. One cell reads "THE BOX KNOWS." #pretend-cell
  You did not type that. #pretend-didnt
  sandrea: You can't ignore it. Kevin tried. He's been transferred to the Box Department. #sandrea-kevin
  sandrea: We don't have a Box Department. Or we didn't. Until today. #sandrea-department
  -> BreakRoom

beat BreakRoom
  You enter the break room. There it is. A plain cardboard box, sitting on the counter next to the microwave. #breakroom-enter
  It's perfectly ordinary, except for the fact that it's humming. And glowing faintly. And someone put googly eyes on it. #breakroom-humming
  sandrea: The googly eyes were Dave from accounting. He thought it would make it less menacing. #sandrea-dave
  sandrea: It did not make it less menacing. #sandrea-menacing
  samuel: Hey, IT here. I've been asked to "scan" the box. With what, I have no idea. #samuel-scan
  samuel: My job description says "computer stuff." This is not computer stuff. #samuel-job

  choice
    Help Samuel scan the box #opt-help-scan
      -> ScanBox
    Try to open the box #opt-try-open
      -> TryOpen
    Ask the box what it wants #opt-ask-box
      boxPower += 10
      -> AskBox

beat ScanBox
  Samuel holds up his phone's flashlight to the box. #scan-phone
  samuel: Scan complete. Results: it's a box. #samuel-results
  samuel: You know, I have a computer science degree. Two, actually. And here I am, scanning a box with a phone flashlight. #samuel-degree
  sandrea: Did you try turning the box off and on again? #sandrea-turnitoff
  samuel: That's not-- you know what, let me try. #samuel-try
  He picks up the box, turns it upside down, and puts it back. The humming gets louder. #scan-upside
  samuel: I've made it angry. Great. Another thing that's angry at IT. #samuel-angry
  boxPower += 5
  -> BoxEscalation

beat TryOpen
  You reach for the box's flaps. #open-reach
  sandrea: Wait! What if it's someone's lunch? #sandrea-lunch
  sandrea: Remember the Great Tupperware Incident of 2019? Karen still hasn't forgiven us. #sandrea-karen
  You hesitate, then open it anyway. Inside the box, there's... another box. #open-another
  Inside that box: a Post-it note that reads "Nice try. - The Box" #open-postit
  boxPower += 10
  -> BoxEscalation

beat AskBox
  You lean toward the box and whisper: "What do you want?" #ask-whisper
  The box hums at a slightly different frequency. Your phone autocorrects a text to "BOX IS LIFE." #ask-phone
  sandrea: Did the box just hack your phone? #sandrea-hack
  samuel: Boxes don't hack phones! #samuel-hack
  samuel: ... Do they? I didn't study box-hacking in college. I'm starting to think my education had gaps. #samuel-gaps
  The break room lights flicker. The microwave turns on by itself and heats nothing for exactly thirty seconds. #ask-flicker
  -> BoxEscalation

beat BoxEscalation
  An email arrives. From the box. It has its own email address: box@boxington-associates.com. #escalation-email
  emails += 1
  The email reads: "Dear colleagues, I would like to schedule a meeting to discuss my role in the organization. Please bring snacks. Preferably cardboard-based." #escalation-meeting
  sandrea: The box wants a meeting. #sandrea-meeting
  samuel: The box has better email etiquette than half the sales team. #samuel-etiquette

  choice
    Schedule the meeting #opt-schedule
      -> BoxMeeting
    Forward the email to HR #opt-forward-hr
      hrInvolved = true
      emails += 5
      -> HRResponse
    Reply all with "Please remove me from this thread" #opt-reply-all
      emails += 200
      -> ReplyAllChaos
    Offer to sponsor the box's corporate integration personally|||Your financial resources might open some doors here... #opt-vip [if hasResource("Gold", 30)]
      -> VIPFastTrack

beat VIPFastTrack
  markSecretBranch("contemporary_vip")
  You reply to the box's email with a generous corporate sponsorship offer. The box hums approvingly. #vip-offer
  sandrea: You're... buying the box a corner office? With a window? #sandrea-corner
  samuel: I've been here three years and I sit next to the printer. The LOUD printer. #samuel-printer
  The box's hum shifts to a contented purr. An email arrives: "Counter-offer accepted. I will also require a company card and a parking spot." #vip-counter
  sandrea: The box negotiated better than our entire sales department. In one email. #sandrea-negotiated
  samuel: Can the box negotiate MY salary next? #samuel-salary
  boxPower += 25
  unionFormed = true
  -> BoxMeeting

beat ReplyAllChaos
  You hit Reply All. The office erupts. #reply-chaos
  47 people reply all with "Please stop replying all." Each reply triggers more replies. #reply-trigger
  emails += 200
  samuel: The email server is at 98% capacity. All from box-related reply-alls. #samuel-server
  sandrea: Dave from accounting replied with a GIF of a box. It's 47 megabytes. #sandrea-gif
  sandrea: The email server has crashed. The box's email still works though. Somehow. #sandrea-crashed
  The box sends one final email: "I rest my case. You need me." #reply-rest
  boxPower += 20
  -> BoxUnion

beat HRResponse
  HR responds within minutes. A new record. Their email is seventeen paragraphs long. #hr-response
  Key excerpts: "Per company policy section 7.4.2, unidentified boxes must complete onboarding." #hr-onboarding
  "Please ensure the box has filled out Form B-0X (yes, really) and attended the safety briefing." #hr-form
  sandrea: HR wants to onboard the box. They want to give it an employee badge. #sandrea-badge
  samuel: I've been here three years and still don't have an employee badge. #samuel-badge
  samuel: But sure. Give it to the box. The sentient, humming, email-sending box. #samuel-sentient
  -> BoxMeeting

beat BoxMeeting
  The meeting room fills up. Everyone is there. The box sits in a chair. Someone gave it a name tag: "THE BOX - Role: TBD." #meeting-room
  boxPower += 10
  sandrea: So... the box has prepared a presentation. #sandrea-presentation
  The projector turns on. Slide 1: "Why This Office Needs Me: A 47-Slide Deck by THE BOX." #meeting-slide
  samuel: It has better slides than my last quarterly review. #samuel-slides
  Slide 7 shows a pie chart. 100% of the pie is labeled "BOX." #meeting-pie
  Slide 23 is just the word "OPEN" in 72-point font, pulsing. #meeting-open
  Slide 47: "In conclusion: open me. Or don't. I'll still be here Monday." #meeting-conclusion

  choice
    Vote to make the box a full employee #opt-employee
      unionFormed = true
      -> BoxEmployee
    Vote to put the box in storage #opt-storage
      -> BoxStorage
    Open the box during the meeting #opt-open-meeting
      -> OpenDuringMeeting

beat BoxStorage
  You vote to put the box in storage. The box's hum drops to a lower frequency. It sounds... hurt. #storage-vote
  samuel: I think we hurt the box's feelings. #samuel-hurt
  sandrea: Does the box have feelings? #sandrea-feelings
  The lights flicker. Every computer in the office displays "I HAVE FEELINGS" in Comic Sans. #storage-feelings
  boxPower += 30
  sandrea: Apparently yes. And it has opinions about fonts. #sandrea-fonts
  The box returns to the break room on its own. Nobody sees it move. It's just... there again. #storage-returns
  -> BoxUnion

beat OpenDuringMeeting
  You stand up and open the box mid-presentation. Gasp from the audience. #open-gasp
  Inside the box: a smaller box. Inside that: a USB drive. #open-usb
  samuel: A USB drive? Now we're in MY territory! #samuel-usb
  He plugs it in. The screen displays: "Company Performance Could Be 340% Better If You Opened More Boxes - A Study by THE BOX." #open-study
  samuel: The data is... actually compelling? The methodology is sound? #samuel-data
  sandrea: We're being out-performed by a box. On a Monday. #sandrea-outperformed
  boxPower += 15
  -> BoxUnion

beat BoxEmployee
  The box is officially hired. Employee #BOX-001. #employee-hired
  It gets a desk, a computer it doesn't use, and a parking spot it definitely doesn't need. #employee-desk
  sandrea: The box got a parking spot before I did. I've been on the waitlist for two years. #sandrea-parking
  samuel: The box's employee portal says its skills are "containing things" and "being opened." #samuel-skills
  samuel: That's more than my resume had when I started here. #samuel-resume
  boxPower += 20
  -> BoxUnion

beat BoxUnion
  Weeks pass. The box has gained a following. Other boxes have appeared. #union-weeks
  The supply closet, the printer paper boxes, the shipping containers -- they're all... organizing. #union-organizing
  sandrea: The boxes are forming a union. #sandrea-union
  samuel: Can boxes unionize? Is that legal? #samuel-legal
  unionFormed = true
  A memo slides under the door. It reads: "The United Box Workers of Boxington & Associates demand: 1) Better storage conditions. 2) No more being thrown away on Fridays. 3) One seat on the board of directors." #union-memo
  emails += 30

  choice
    Support the box union #opt-support
      -> SupportUnion
    Oppose the box union #opt-oppose
      -> OpposeUnion
    Negotiate with the box union #opt-negotiate
      -> NegotiateUnion

beat SupportUnion
  You sign the box union's petition. It's the first petition you've ever signed that was also a box. #support-petition
  sandrea: You know what? Good for the boxes. They work hard. They carry things. #sandrea-goodfor
  samuel: The IT department has fourteen boxes. They do more work than the interns. #samuel-fourteen
  The CEO, who no one has ever seen, sends an email: "I've always been a box. Surprise." #support-ceo
  boxPower += 50
  -> Ending

beat OpposeUnion
  You take a stand against the box union. Bold move. #oppose-stand
  The boxes respond by collectively refusing to be opened. Every package, every delivery, every Amazon order -- sealed shut. #oppose-sealed
  sandrea: My online shopping! No! #sandrea-shopping
  samuel: The server backup tapes are in boxes. We can't access anything. #samuel-tapes
  The office grinds to a halt. You can't fight organized cardboard. #oppose-halt
  boxPower += 30
  You quietly un-oppose the box union. #oppose-retract
  -> Ending

beat NegotiateUnion
  You sit across from the original box. It's wearing a tiny tie now. Where did it get a tie? #negotiate-tie
  sandrea: The box wants dental. #sandrea-dental
  samuel: Boxes don't have teeth. #samuel-teeth
  sandrea: The box says, and I quote, "not yet." #sandrea-notyet
  After three hours of negotiation, you reach a compromise: boxes get better shelf space, and employees stop using them as makeshift chairs. #negotiate-compromise
  boxPower += 20
  -> Ending

beat Ending
  You lean back in your office chair. It's Friday. The box is still humming in the break room. #ending-friday
  sandrea: So... same thing next Monday? #sandrea-monday
  samuel: Probably. I'm updating my resume, though. Under "Skills," I'm adding "box diplomacy." #samuel-resume-end
  sandrea: You know, I used to think this job was boring. #sandrea-boring
  sandrea: Then a box showed up, sent better emails than my manager, formed a union, and possibly became CEO. #sandrea-recap
  sandrea: Mondays, am I right? #sandrea-mondays

  if unionFormed
    The box hums contentedly. The office will never be the same. But maybe that's okay. #ending-content
    The break room microwave displays "THANK YOU" in its timer. Nobody questions it anymore. #ending-microwave

  samuel: Box power level at end of week: $boxPower. Emails generated: $emails. Sanity remaining: undefined. #samuel-final
  sandrea: See you Monday. Bring the box a coffee. It likes decaf. Don't ask how we know. #sandrea-final
  -> .